


TikTok Dirty to Me

by iPlaySports



Series: Klaine on TikTok [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine talks DIRTY, Dirty Talk, M/M, Married Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Revenge, TikTok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27046840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iPlaySports/pseuds/iPlaySports
Summary: Blaine gets his revenge on Kurt through a TikTok challenge...
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Klaine on TikTok [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972549
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	TikTok Dirty to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I got this prompt from a friend who was talking to her friend (follow @kurtlovebot on Instagram she is the sweetest according to friend #1) I tried to get this done s quickly as possible so if all mistakes are mine (and my beta but she told me not to say that) so yeah please enjoy :).

Blaine always thought revenge was a dish best served cold. But, this time he thinks it would be better to get a little dirty. And if it happens to end up on a viral post on TikTok? _Que sera, sera._

Blaine originally found the idea on *shudders* _Straight TikTok_. (In his defense, it was sent to him from Wes. He will not willingly have heterosexuals on his For You page, thank you very much.)

The game is simple. Say some dirty things to your significant other in a public place and see how they react. Also, the camera will be rolling. It is bound to be at least mildly interesting. 

And the perfect revenge for that video Kurt posted a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, this video will need more preparation than chilling on the office couch and recording behind a laptop. So, he enlists some help.

When he calls Sam to help him out, he faces no ridicule and is even congratulated for coming up with the most “amazingly-super-awesome-best-revenge-plan-of-all-time.” When he calls Rachel on the other hand…

* * *

 _“Absolutely not, Blaine Warbler! I will not have you exploit my friend for popularity on_ TikTok.”

_"What? Why? Kurt did the same thing and-”_

_“This is in no way comparable to what he did. His was relatively harmless, while your plan runs the risk of public humiliation and embarrassment.”_

_“But-”_

_“No buts. If you do posts this video, and I hope you heed my advice and_ don’t _, I will have no connection with it and your ultimate downfall.”_

_“Fine. I’m still doing it. I have other friends to help besides you, ya know?”_

* * *

Talking with Rachel is always a joy. After Rachel, Blaine decided it would be best to keep others out of the operation. It was just gonna be him and Sam. They worked well together before so, this should turn out to be at least okay-ish.

The plan is simple. The three of them are gonna go out to run errands all day. _Together._ Sam is going to be subtlety filming Kurt and Blaine, as the latter does his best to get a reaction out of Kurt using the filthiest of language.

* * *

The boys are currently on the platform waiting for the subway to take them to Kurt’s favorite dry cleaners on 54th street. Blaine motions toward Sam to start filming while he settles an arm around Kurt’s waist.

Blaine starts slowly stroking Kurt’s hip over his jeans and leans in to speak directly in his husband’s ear and just loud enough so that the phone currently 3 feet in front of him can hear, but not anyone else.

“I wish we could’ve stayed home today, so I could some _terrible_ things to you.” Blaine revels in the small gasp that escapes Kurt’s lips and how Kurt subconsciously presses closer into Blaine’s arm. Unfortunately, Kurt immediately straightens and turns toward Blaine. T he train soon pulls up effectively drowning out Kurt’s warning _‘Blaine…’_ as Blaine shifts his arm so he holds the hand closest to him. Running his thumb over the back of Kurt’s hand as he pulls him onto the train.

* * *

Now that they are on the train, he subtly encourages Kurt to hold on to the pole near the middle of the train. Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt’s middle and hooks his chin over Kurt’s shoulder.

They stand together for a while until he motions Sam- who is sitting on the bench in front of them- to start recording again.

“I just want to rip your clothes off right now. If we weren’t on this damn train, I’d be on my knees in front of you.”

Blaine thoroughly enjoys the blush that spreads all the way to Kurt’s ears and how his husband grips the pole just _that_ much harder, trying to keep his breathing in check.

* * *

Later as they are leaving Pedro’s Cleaners, Blaine signals to Sam as he abruptly stops walking and waits until Kurt looks back before unmistakably _leering_ at him. 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine says, sounding 100% _not,_ “You just look really sexy today, and I needed you to walk in front of me so I could see your ass.”

Kurt’s eyes darken slightly before he shakes his head, trying to stay focused. He glances towards Sam (who is feigning disinterest while still filming) and looks back toward Blaine.

“Come on,” Kurt reaches back to grab Blaine’s hand, “we don’t want to miss out train.”

* * *

Blaine decides to keep it PG for the next ride, holding on to Kurt until the subway pulls up to their station. In fact, it’s not until they are in line to pay for their groceries that he decides to strike again. 

“I can’t wait till we get home tonight, I want you to claim me in the best possible way.”

Kurt undeniably _growls_ as he puts down the magazine he was reading, turning around and pulling Blaine in roughly by his belt loops.

“Babe,” Kurt says, making the word sound absolutely filthy, “I have no idea what has gotten into you today, but you better believe that as soon as we get home I will…”

* * *

“You didn’t get the rest of it?” Blaine asked Sam as they were rewatching and editing the video to be posted.

“No, I didn’t. Kurt somehow dropped his voice _below_ a whisper to tell you what I’m assuming happened yesterday when he kicked me out as soon as y'all got home.” Sam pointedly ignores how Blaine’s eye glaze over slightly at the mention of anything happening after 5:37 PM yesterday. “Also, you got his peak reaction. That’s all you needed, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Blaine rewatches the video a final time and adds a caption, “Let’s post this thing.”

* * *

 **@BD_AnderHummel:** Revenge is a dish best served dirty…and through TikTok. **@KurtEAHummel**

**Comments:**

**ThePuckerMan:** _damn straight… (i didn’t know hummel was that easy to break…)_

 **RBarbraB:** _Kurt, I want you to know that I advised AGAINST this_

 **SamIAMEvans:** _hey, where are my video credits???_

 **TheRealMercedesJ:** _damn white boy i didn’t think you had it in you_

 **SatanLopez:** _wAnky so so wankY ;)_

 **BlainersBowTies:** _um… blainers… that was *fans self*_

* * *

“I’m not sure whether I should laugh or cry right now.”

“Well, yesterday you seemed to be m- HEY! Did you just hit me with a pillow? What are we, teenage girls?”

“Well, you might be. Considering you got revenge via _TikTok_.”

“Hey, at least we are even?”

“Not a chance yours was way worse… I get another turn to even the score.”

“I don’t like that look.”

“...Too bad.”

**Author's Note:**

> comment? kudos? i'll take anything. I need validation, por favor.


End file.
